People Need To Be Shot

Get to my doc, about 10 min late. Missed my bus you see.
Get there, receptionist is like: Well you're late, so you are gonna have to wait until all these people are thru.
M: How long is the wait?
R: I don't know.
Cow.
Even tho, I know that if I was on time , I still would have had to wait for all these geezers to go.
You'd think I was in Dr. Kevorkians' office or something. With all the stench of geezer surrounding me
So about an hour and some later, I get called in.

Doc: So what can I do for you?
Moi: You told me to come back!
D: AH right, a follow up. Jump on the scale.
Which I do.
M: I'm the same as last time. I didn't gain any weight.
D: Thats good. People get fat and then they have trouble getting rid of it.
M: You told me to gain weight!
He then takes my blood pressure, which is good he says.
Doc: AT least you stopped drinking. Not getting drunk and all that.
M: No I didn't! I actually drank more between these last visits than the ones before these ones.
Some other nonsense and then we are done.
D: see you in 2 mths.

This all took about under 10min.
Bah.

Later that night: <--(said in 60's Batman voice over)
[cue Batman segue music]
So it's about 8pm. I call up Best Buy.
M: Do you guys have any copies of Layer Cake?
BB: Let me check
He puts me on hold. A few seconds later, 'click'
Fuckers!
Like I need another reason to hate Best Buy.
A&B Sound doesn't have any copies, but Future Shop does. So I decide to go there and I can check out best buy, since they are right next to each other.
I run thru the mall (Polo) and check out HMV and CD Plus. At CD Plus I pick up Old Boy.
Great Movie. Awesome revenge flick.
Run over to best buy. Ask the guy
M:Do you guys have any copies of Layer Cake and Batman Begins: Deluxe Edition?
BB: Lemme check.
So he goes to the computer and looks it up. 3 copies of LC and 6 of BB:DE.
We go to the wall of dvds. Nothing. Checks the sections that they could be in. Nothing.
BB: One second, I'll go check in the back.
Now it's about 10 to nine. I see snatches of him now and again. He keeps saying hold on.
Comes back to me.
BB: Sorry. We can't seem to find either of those movies. The computer says we have them, but they aren't out front and we don't have any in the back. The other guy that was helping me look says he saw only one copy of Layer Cake.
M: But I guess that one is no longer there.
BB: Yah, sorry.
M: Guess it's too late to go to future shop now.
BB: Is it 9 already.
M: Yah.

Seems I do need another reason.
Bastards.

Maybe I should move to Florida......

Then again, maybe I should hope for more hurricanes. I've always wanted to learn Greek.
Idiots.

Arrr! Maties. What Happened To Them Thar Action Movies?

This was originally supposed to be posted on the 19th of September

So I was watching Predator on tv the other day.
good action movie.
It sucked me right in. Captivating it is. More so than Sneakers.
Weeell, maybe not. But on the same level at least.
Which brings me to this question: What happened to the action movie?......Arrr!

Part of the blame goes to Bruce Willis and the rest of the cast and crew of Die Hard. Actually, it goes to the people who rip that movie off. Ever since then, all action movies have an everyday joe who has to have emotions and problems.
Fuck that.
Aye, they should walk the plank.

Predator is a classic action movie.
If you don't like, then my friend, you don't like action movies.
It has Ahnold, at his best. Seriously, I think his accent got worse as his career went on.
It has a bunch of 2 dimensional characters that are expendable.
It has Apollo Creed! And it has a kick ass villain.
There be explosions and shoot outs and some nifty effects.
More importantly it doesn't have a bloated over complicated story. No stupid twists and turns. No stupid surprises. And no hero who is bogged down by emotional problems that are only there to give the story a cheap ass heart and to make him relateable to the audience.

How does it make Bond more realatable when he feels sad that he had to kill another bond girl. Oh yah, that happens to me all the time when I go abroad and do a broad. They always end up being on the villains side. Damn those villains for making me kill this girl whom I just slept with.
Now unless you have a shit load of stds, as we can safely assume that bond has, unless he is genetically engineered by Q to be immune to such things, I don't think people have to worry to much about having some random girl dying on them.

I remember when Bad Boys II came out.
People didn't like it that much.
Why? I have no idea. The only movie that entertained me more that entire year was Pirates of the Carribean.
That's some pretty esteemed company, I must say.
It did what it was supposed to. It was everything the first movie was, except more.
More action, more comedy, more chases and more explosions.
Michael Bay knows how to blow shit up.
It was formulaic like you wouldn't believe, but that's fine. It helps the movie more than hurts it.
I went to the bathroom during the movie, something I rarely ever do. Once a movie starts, there is no leaving until it ends.
In this case though, I knew that nothing important was going to happen and that I had some time and right I was.
Only problem with the movie I had was that some of the shots in the movie were only there because they were in the first one.
Bah.

If you haven't noticed, there be some talk of the sea throughout this piece. If you be asking yourself, why?, then I got an answer for ye.
I originally started this on "Talk Like A Pirate Day!"
Why is there such a thing, you ask.
Well, ummm, because. That's why.
If you would also like to participate in such a glorious event, then you might want to brush up on you pirate speak.
And don't worry, we haven't forgotten you crazy Germans.

Thanksgiving Weekend

So this wknd was Thanksgiving Weekend.
A time to eat, spend time with friends and family and eat.
Eating is good.
Many things that we can all be thankful for.
Health, wealth or food, maybe even the simple fact that you are breathing.
Some things are close by, others far away. Some seem far, yet are quite possibly the closest things to you. You just haven't realised it yet.

Friends.
The only reason that I am sane as I am. Also the reason I am as insane as I am.
I have a bunch of things that I am thankful for.
Some of which I won't mention here, mostly because they be mine and I am wanting to keep it that way.
uh huh, uh huh.
But they know who they are.
I'm thankful for them, so go away world. They are not for you.
*shakes fist
Then there is the whats.
They don't know what they are, or do they...
Either way, I'm thankful for them as well.

But here is something that I am thankful for that I will share with you. Soemthing that happened on Thanksgiving Sunday oddly enough.


Bart Bartell.

Flightplan

I just saw Flightplan.
What, the fuck!
The movie blows.
The first hour or so is boring as all get out.
Then it kinda almost gets interesting........if it wasn't so stupid.
This is one of those movies where the problem could be solved with a kick in the head.
Well, almost. The movie isn't what you think it is.
Well it is, but then it isn't.
Lemme just say the flick gets good (almost) once they get to Canada.
That's right. Canada.
Of course, why the FBI would be in Goose Bay, instead of the RCMP, I don't know.
Don't even get me started on where the fuck a squad came from. I'd say watch the movie and you'll understand, but that means you'd have to watch the movie and I wouldn't want to put that burden on you.
Supposedly there was some controvery over some nonsense.
.
Jodie Foster was annoying. Annoying as hell.
Which I guess means that she is a good actress, cause I wanted to kick her head in so many times. Peter Sarsgaard, looked sleepy or shifty eyed even.
Sean Bean was his good intense usual self. Erika Christensen was pointless and the sexy stu was like a sexy version of Sarah Jessica Parker. Except with much better lips.
Oh my.
The sexy stu. So lovely, those lips. Just lovely, quite lovely.
Kate Beahan. Needs more close ups.

SJP comes up, I think only because 1 of the trailers had her in it.
Oh, did I mention that there was 15min of trailers.
Yah, there was.
Jarhead being the only good one. The rest were boring. So much so, that I cannot remember any of them, other than the one with SJP and Craig T Nelson. Oh, it had Rachel McAdams too.
Mmmm, tasty.

Speaking of trailers, here is a good one. (read more about it here)
It is something rare. A good trailer that intrigues you, yet doesn't really give anything away.
Is good I tells ya!

reviews yet to come:
40 yr-old virgin
hustle & flow
constant gardener
+ some movies I watched on dvd.

The Deal

Why, hello there!
Long time no see. How have you guys been doing?
Whatcha been up to?
Me?
Not much really. I did have a nasty case of the no-posties(tm).
Not as bad as some people, but nonetheless.

Here's the deal.
See, no matter how many teachers say that I'm a good writer, (as you can see by that smooth transitition), I'm not going to like writing. The worst part is the starting.
Can't start a paper or a story or a post or anything, really. Not even if my life depended on it.
If something is already there and I can expand on it, then great, but starting from sratch, this I regualarily despise.
Once I get over that bump though, I'm usually fine. Then I can go on and on & on + on.
The other problem is that I cannot write the words down fast enought for my mind. My mind races around like a maniac and if I slow it down too much to write it out, that train of thought is derailed. The train can be put back on the tracks, but if I don't feel the writing bug, forget about it.

Which brings me to why I haven't updated this sucka.
I wasn't in the writing mood. I just couldn't sit in front of a sceen and put my thoughts on it. I couldn't even put my thoughts on paper. Which is how this post orignally started.
The other problem was that my thoughts just didn't translate properly, from deep speak(tm), into words.
I tried to write but it just wan't happening, Couldn't type for the life of me. The moment I sat down to type something, my mind would just blank.
Writing on paper wansn't any better either.
Random stuff was being put down a litlle but not enough to expand on to make coherent writings. If what you call what I write coherent.
Some bits + pieces were typed up though. Not enought to be posted mind you. But it was something.
So, I decided to take a step back for a little while. Let the urge to write come naturally, not force it.
Lots of shit flying around and I was having trouble sorting it all out.
But now my mind is a little bit more at ease.

So updates should be more forthcoming.
I got some movie review that have been started, which I'll try and get up over the weekend. Also some of those bits + pieces I mentioned, will be expanded on until they are nice chunks and, ahhh, fragments, (thank you thesaurus). So some of them might be slightly out of date. I'm looking at you action movie rant......

So to all those who were wondering where I was, all 3 of you, I am here.
Who would have thought that having a ridiculously early shift at work would be so helpfull.
So there you go.
That's the deal.